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REBECCA'S TEARS 2020

REBECCA ASLEEP 2020

REBECCA CRYING 2020

A Descent into a Nightmare

I love your 5 am niceness,

No idea what it all means.

I just wanna touch you…

Half formed dreams.

Half formed in bed,

A huge collage of different events,

and I can’t really remember them very well,

so I thought I’d write it down instead.

 

I believe she is far beyond capable of entering my innocent dreamy state,

And I’ve just noticed now that you’re right, it is late.

Human withdrawal has to be a valid condition because it feels so real.

Dream of me.

Dream of something extravagant.

Dream of us.

Don’t let that dream fade away I suppose.

Had crazy dreams about Amsterdam and you and sex and bikes,

And arms becoming chewing gum, and lattes that were iced.

And being disorganised, and lava in water,

and I had another dream that you were ignoring me!!!!

Stop ignoring me!!!!!!!!

 

That seems like an obscurely human dream for you,

That I hope I don’t fall back into.

You woke up genuinely upset at me,

It’s still very much resonating in my sad body.

 

We had a sort of playground space made out of each other and now it’s GONE.

This dreamscape is eroding and soon there will be none.

Dreams couple therapy sessions sound so millennial it’s painful,

A perversion of basic human interaction,

Unnecessary reaction.

Nevertheless I will be using this hotline.

And you can tell me about your nightmare later,

But I just woke up from the second of two really awful dreams in which you featured.

Half formed dreams.

This I’ve been gushing for a lonely man's basements my whole life,

 

It’s like our combined kinky dream.

REBECCA'S HOUSE 2020

GHOST 2020

A Morsel of a Dream I had, 1/07/2020 Finally I escaped,
And we ran away to
The rocky coastal cliffs.

All around, destruction.
No one.
Just us.
And a half standing white house.

I ask why.

They point to what is just entering my vision.

Horizon.

Red wave, red wall, white horses.
Towering, imminent destruction. Almost biblical in nature.

That way things far away don’t look like they’re moving. Somehow, stationary, but with all the suggestion of complete, violent motion.

We, however, sit inanimate. “Will we survive this?”

They sit there, looking peaceful “We will if we need to.”

Now almost touchable, the horizon has been brought to us by the travelling mass.

Matter whips up around us, skies all masked by the red water wall. We are the shore,
Onto which this bloody liquid
Will crash.

(“We will if we need to.”) It lands.

I want to take I want to bite I reeeeally want to go I want to be I want you to do I wish I was I wish you were I’ll do I dream I can’t wait I’d love to I wanna I get so Not too long now. I love it when you Mmmmmmmmm Ahhh I wish I could. Top 5 Wait till sleep ova then he will say things dat u dont wanna no Yer i want 2 know eevverryyytthiinngg I havent been to 1 sleepover wer we havent talked bout boys haha I havent been 2 a sleep ova wer i havent talked bout girls bu wat do girls say Like how annoying boys can get and we imagian wat they shud be like In a while, crocodile... bye bye show off Bye xx :) Yer goto go speak soon bye xxx Text me, bye xx Okies bye xxxxx Bye xx Bye i am going now Oh ok bye xx Have to go will watch that show bye :) xx Goodnight sausage And with that, goodnight.

 

Croccy Tearz Don’t cry Don’t cry Don’t cry I’ve been uber in my emotions, HoRmOnAl. I won’t cry. Don’t cry … I have a sort of complexity with seagulls, they have a crying sound I suppose, Any seagull sounds make me feel really sad for some reason. Don’t cry … I can’t tell if they’re laughing or crying upstairs, Oh god he’s actually crying. Boys don’t cry m8. Boys don’t cry. Who was it that cried though? Who was it that cried? Oh god he’s actually crying ... I don’t know why I’m crying in the club right now. Was it some drunk cry for help? Crying in the club. And crying in the station for sure. (Also just cried at a film). Don’t cry. … Crying real tears at a poem written by a cat. Real tears, but only a mediocre shoulder to cry on. … I have a face that looks like it’s crying sometimes. I think I did slightly cry when I was able to eat my soup. Or was it my face? Or the soup? Or the cat? Or the film? Don’t cry.